MESSAGE TO SPENCER

Spencer,

I've had the intention of writing this all along, but haven't done so yet because I didn't know what to say. I'm not sure I know what to say now, but walking around this afternoon and thinking about what I would tell you if I could (in say 12 years), my eyes got misty and I figured it must be time.

I'll admit that I have written all this with some romantic notion that someday you will read this and find something in it. I don't know if that will happen, I don't know if you'll be interested. But, I hope you can listen to your dear old dad, even if most kids don't. :)

Your dad grew up being afraid to be outside of his box, outside of his comfort zone. I learned that things you didn't know might hurt you, and that risk was not often rewarded. Your great grandfather and grandmother (love you mom) often showed me that risk was a scary thing and that it might be best to stay away from things that you couldn't "control". And, I love being in my box. I love my comfort zone. Its so darn nice in my comfort zone. I hate talking to people, I love knowing where everything is, I love to be in control of EVERYTHING. Life is so much easier in my comfort zone and, I used to think, so much more rewarding.

If I could tell you one thing (and have you listen), I would tell you not to have a comfort zone. Actually, I would tell you to have a comfort zone with everything in it. The world is a scary place. People can be scary, places can be scary, doing new things can be scary. But don't put those outside of your comfort zone. Embrace them, and doing them won't feel so scary.

I'm scared to eat here. I don't know where the food came from, I have a hell of a time ordering it, and I hate sitting there by myself with everyone around me speaking a different language. But, what am I going to do? Not eat? Of course not. I ordered, I ate, I haven't died (yet). In fact, I just had the best asparagus wrapped in ham with a drizzle of some kind of sauce. It was wonderful, and had I gone to KFC like I thought I might, had I been afraid to sit and to order, and to enjoy my dinner, I would have missed it. I stepped outside my comfort zone the minute I boarded the plane, and I have loved every minute of it.

If you need help making the world your comfort zone, ask for help. Ask me, ask your mom, ask your grandparents. We have all experienced a million different things, and we can help, provide advice or watch from the sidelines. I don't think a single one of us would hesitate. I promise to give you what you need to grow that comfort zone. If you ask what the grass feels like around the Eiffel Tower, I will take you there. When you get older, and don't need a "tour-guide", I'll make sure you get there, and I'll worry like hell. I want you to grow your comfort zone and enjoy everything the world has to offer.

The world is a scary place, Spencer, but the more you explore it, the more you get to know it, the more comfortable you'll be. I'm here to help you do that, in any way you want.

Love,
You dad